our friend noah
almost got mugged today
they were like “give us your money”
and he literally was like “no thanks?” and WALKED AWAY
and it worked
WHAT THE FUCK????
me and my friend were walking down the street and she had her phone in her back pocket and she felt someone take it and she immediately turned around, grabbed his arm, and said “phone.” and he just gave it back
WEAK-ASS MUGGERS GOD PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER
that would be the best surprise ever omg
no but what if the guy who loaded the machine had just filled it with these
you get a polar bear and it’s a nice surprise and you put the change in for another coke
but you get another polar bear
and you’re like hm that was weird but hey i got two polar bears that’s pretty cool
but it kEEPS HAPPENING
OVER AND OVER
you get more and more frustrated each time
eventually you give up and sit down on the floor and cry, surrounded by small plushie polar bears
you’re so thirsty
you never wanted this to happen
all you wanted was a coke
My friend’s dog had 14 puppies. This is how they’re kept out of trouble while she cleans the house
oh my god
so a few days ago i sat down for dinner and my mom handed me the camera with a strange look on her face. all she said was “you need to see this” and i was like ?? okay
that is my dad with a pigeon on his head.
SO OF COURSE MY REACTION WAS JUST “WHAT?! HOW??? HOW”…
I love the earthy colors in this outfit, but I didn’t really have anywhere to wear it so pictures will do.
Also the manager of the local sushi place was so impressed with my shitty japanese that he gave me his number, that made my day lol.
the female body is hardcore as fuck.
Yes it is.
so is the male body
it’s sad to see so many people like this on this website
OP is praising the fact that women hold a fucking infant in their belly the size of a ribcage, get the fuck over yourself for 3.5 seconds.
*~*~follow for more fragile male ego~*~*
The male body is more susceptible to hereditary diseases because of their lack of a second X chromosome. Their testosterone production ages them faster and causes them to die sooner. Their center of gravity is higher because of their tiny little hips and overgrown shoulders, making them easier to topple. Their gonads are placed outside of the body, in a very vulnerable position, because they do not function properly if they get a little bit warmer than usual. They have non-functional nipples, but still enough breast tissue to get cancer.
The male body is not hardcore. The male body is to the female body what a shoddy, unstable mod is to a well-estabilished piece of software. Sit the fuck down. And try to not crush your fragile pathetic outside gonads when you do it.
- Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why (via ranjhana)
Bottom line: If you oppose raising the minimum wage you’re saying that some people don’t deserve to be able to feed and shelter themselves and you’re trash.
Yet I bet these feminists would have no problem with raising the minimum wage for women only, leaving men unable to feed or shelter themselves. Because feminists are trash.
REALLY just wanna take this chance to remind the people who follow me to not kill/trap opossums if they’re in your yard, and do not call animal control! Seriously.
- Opossums are literally 100% BIOLOGICALLY INCAPABLE of carrying rabies. Their body temperature is too cool to incubate it properly.
- Opossums are actually quite gentle and NOCTURNAL, so if they’re roaming, they’ve probably gotten lost, been injured, and are looking for a place to hide.
- Young opossums tend to try to climb into garbage cans when they’re starving. This is because THEY ARE LITERALLY STARVING. Don’t fucking shoot them or hit them with things because you wanna be some fucking macho top-of-the-food-chain cocksucker.
- Mama possums are amazing mothers and if you encounter an “aggressive” opossum, it’s probably because she’s got babies hanging off her nipple and she’s freaking out. They’re clumsy. Sometimes they don’t hear you coming and you catch each other off guard.
- Wanna lure an opossum off of your property? You can set up a box with some greens and cat kibble in it, hide it well, and lure them out that way. They’re actually quite harmless and keep other predators away. they eat lotsa gross stuff.
- Opossum mamas who get hit by cars often still have their helpless babies attached to them. Possums get a bad rep and people say they are “the dumbest animal”, but they are incredible creatures who have been around since the days of fucking dinosaurs so treat them well, okay?
When I was in the fourth grade, we had baby opossums as class pets that I think had lost their mothers. They’re EXTREMELY sweet and intelligent animals!